#1 - 04/07/21

“Am I okay?” She questions to the moon who has not yet shown their face for the night.

The answer is of course no, though she’d never admit it. The reflection she’d been avoiding is starting to settle over her like a weighted blanket - comforting, yet maybe a little claustrophobic. So many goals, hopes and achievements flash before her, yet the side that says “it’s impossible” crashes over her.

You see, she’s always been the confident one. The one who has been destined for great things. The world of possibility always are the forefront of her mind. Though each step forward has always felt like quicksand, always cause to fight to stay alive. Of course she’d never been unsafe - her life had always been privileged and reasonably untroubled on paper. Her biggest demon had always. been her mind.

Though knowing this had never been cause for relief.

“I’m not sure why,” she thinks “but I always feel in danger.” This isn’t the first time she’s thought this, in fact, it’s what drew her to yoga in the first place. The constant treading of water, grasping for air never stops except when breath and movement are paired.

The fear of drowning never stops.